Sunday, February 21, 2010

Back from Mysore - kuch raas nahi aayi

Two things I like about Mysore
a) My parent's home
b) the beautiful Mysore palace
Apart from these two, I find myself disconnected with the place. Mysore hasn't changed at all from the time I have moved out. All I have in Mysore are the memories and memories make me momentarily happy or sad just like the word "memories" sound and its usage. The road leading to my house appears same, the road leading elsewhere appears same.Only the traffic signals and cafe coffee joints have sprouted here and there but the traffic seems to be as uncivil, haphazard, chaotic mess as it was before and the people have the same small town ego, same body language. Mysore will remain same and it will not change just like the people. I find every one in Mysore familiar even though I haven't seen them before. How uninteresting?
I feel, I know, I cannot belong here anymore. I recently read that Mysore is one of the top best places in the world to visit. I guess people from around the world take Mysore as a living museum where people recreate a time period which is 10 or 20 yrs back.
Can I resettle in Mysore?- I don't want to.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

kinda Unburdening

Going through a sense of fear transforming into utter helplessness and then love and again helplessness and love.
It is a struggle.
While touching the bundle of nerves hanging probably not wanting to get off the hook or just being caring enough to let go hoping not to be a trouble. It was sad.It still is.
Not our fault though and I know you know that.
We also know the void.Void made so evident because I saw you in different forms and many forms, I still see when it is dismal. Seeing it just disappear in the water while I cling for support who is wrecked but calm.Stroking the head and shoulder, every part in the body is in tune with all the senses of the heart, only heart and nothing else.
That was a moment so vivid and at the same time so brief that all one can do to keep it alive is going through that moment while lying on the bed looking out , talking, having a hot shower, having food, chatting with friends, prayers and many many more ways. Everyday.

The shreds, little fragments are a whole in itself and the shred made its presence felt for days, just to get me go on in life and giving me the chance to see.
I see everyday,yes, painful, but will have a moment and share it and keep it...the carefully held moments will enchain us together for life and after life if it exists.We live.

Logic can take its course later.
Instances can solace me later.
Thoughts can come later.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

I have been Tagged Again!

The rules of the tag are:
1. The rules must be mentioned in the beginning of the tag. 2. You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had. 3. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Whats in a name, a rose is a rose is a rose. Well whats in a middle name, especially when I don’t have one. So I have decided to use the name TORA. Tiger is called Tora in Japanese.I’m learning Japanese and still at a stage where I can only read and write katakana and hiragana (2 of the three scripts). I could have known much more if I had not missed many classes in a row. And I think I will let go off my Japanese classes. So as a dedication to all the classes I have attended till now. I take the name TORA as my middle name.

Also, the word TORA brings a smile for silly reasons I treasure.

T- Tea and trees and tap dance. I’m not going to divulge about my love for tea here. Trees, then. I love trees lining the roads, trees in the corner of a compound, trees in the middle of the road, trees inside the house, trees at the back of the house, trees next to balcony, trees in the temple, trees anywhere, anykind.Tap dance,mmm I havent learnt how to tap dance.But I have my silly versions of it.I used to tap dance on my way back home from school.I was always happy coming back home from school.:). My sister and I used to continuously tap dance for half an hour without a stop as part of her exercise regime. I just remained fatless for sometime.
I will be sane as long as I could enjoy a tree, tap dance my life away and have a cup of tea whenever I need.

O- Orange,shades of Orange except the flourescent one. You shouldn’t be surpirsed if I wear lot of orange colored fabric.oh yes! You guessed it right. Isnt it obvious? (Hint: You are wrong if you are relating it to some religious bodies)

R- Can I just leave this letter. Apart from red, request, rituparno gosh(why oh why?), nothing much is appearing in my mind right now and the above ‘R’ words are as relevant as this post. So I will let go off this.

A - Answers. Yeah yeah it all very deep. But really I get bored when pple answers life’s questions without being asked. Everyone finds his or her answers. Whats so good about yours? Leave it sir. If you think somebody’s answers are wrong, keep it to yourself. You never know when you are going to be hit on your head fatally.

I tag Tarzan, Othello, Ricky Martin and Adam. (I got to follow the rules)

T, stop swinging and tag along
O,I never liked your character.hence I tag you to punish you. What a tragedy, your life is?
Ricky, with that kind of butt swaying, I always felt you are a gay. Anyways I have tagged you. But pls don’t divluge about your new avatar. There are hell lot of books on it and I dont even want to read even one.
Adam, do you have a middle name? Uh …um were you really happy in the garden of eden? uh…um…do you really regret eating the apple? (not able to keep the curiousity. I ate apples too)

Friday, October 12, 2007

Chick Dig This! Chick Dig That!

I love this channel “Travel and Living”. It hosts great shows about travel, food and art. My interest lies in food, travel and art. And I watch these shows indiscriminately. But I have my favorites. One is a travel and food show and another a reality show. Very addictive shows but leave you unruffled. These are antidotes to the whole lot of mind ----- soaps.

No Reservation and a Cook’s tour.

A great show about travel and food and a sexy guy thrown into it. MMMMMMMM! A perfect recipe for the soul.
That’s right! Anthony Bourdain!
It’s not just another travel show. Ian Wright is too interesting but Mister Anthony Bourdain takes it to greater heights. He is not deliberately funny but satirical, and with no malice. He is a gracious guest.
Tall, lanky, a good smile here and there, great humor, a super sexy walk, cool clothes, shades, and his erotic voice. Oh I could watch him even if he talks about mathematical formulas solving mysteries or nonsense like why Bush is better than the rest of the world.
He is Howard Roark. Well not Howard Roark. He is Anthony Bourdain.
There is something in him, which is adorable even when he is sitting and watching the pig’s intestine being pulled out. Thank god he is not one of the guys who screams and lets off awfully bad sounds. The years of experience are written on his face, his walk, and his smile and his eyes.
He is not at all like a typical macho man with 16” biceps. Well he doesn’t need them to be a man. He is a man’s man and appears not so a typical lady’s man. This makes him more dishy.
I would be offended if pple didn’t know about certain personalities, but I would love it if pple are ignorant about Anthony Bourdain.He is like this pebble you find in the beach, which stood out from the rest solely because of your perception, and you just keep it as your possession. You don’t feel like exhibiting it. Only you know its worth as you have solely bestowed the price to it. It’s almost the same with Anthony Bourdain.He is like my pebble. I like the feeling when pple don’t know anything about him. None of my friends know him or watch his shows and that makes me really special.
But then, I don’t like to hold on to things a lot. I have to let go off my pebbles ;), so I'm letting go off Anthony Bourdain too. Not because he has lost the value. It’s just that pple might like him but the way he is perceived by me is unique. So I don’t mind he being out and open. I’m just too crazy writing all this stuff. That’s right! Anthony Bourdain!

Miami Ink.

Well if somebody had told me that there is a show about tattoos, I wouldn’t have bothered to even check it out.
Once while browsing. I happen to see Ami James speaking followed by Chris Graver. They were not speaking some life changing moments. It’s just the way they were speaking. Full of character. I don’t know how to put it. Well it’s like the opposite of Abhishek bachan’s nugatory figure/assuming personality. Okay! You got that! Thanks. Well I continued to listen to them and then the show took to its main course, tattooing. And it was icing on the cake, interesting guys doing interesting tattoos. Oh I love their art.
Miami Ink is about a bunch of tattoo artists, doing their job and just talking. Ami James and Chris graver make it special. And of course the store right in front of the beach adds up! And I have to mention Yoji. He balances the show by being just cute.
It’s not about the shows but it’s about the pple who make these shows special.
You see pple from all walks of life go in and out of the tattoo store with a great tattoo on any possible part of their much worn out bodies. The client’s 2-minute stories don’t leave u bored. This show needs host like Ami James who can actually make u forget to squirm your arse while watching the scrapings of the skin. Mwah! What a treat when the tattoo is made. Awesome beautiful tattoos. I’m almost tempted to get one myself. But for that I had to go to Miami and have to get an appointment with either Ami James or Chris Graver. Chances are quite bleak and I’m quite happy about that.

Somehow these shows make me feel more feminine. I take them as compliments!

Monday, September 10, 2007


I can’t read anything and everything. That’s because I don’t like to read certain things, for example travel write-ups. Never found travel write-ups delectable. I love to watch travel shows though. I find travel write-up (TW) very bland as I fail to be perceptive. I lose interest, as I’m really not keen to know his/her views abt the “place”. I would rather have a look at the place and feel it. I even tried reading certain travel write up by a writer,I had a crush on. But it didn’t help. I even tried reading a TW of a friend who is too good with words but I JUST couldnot enjoy.
Mmm talking abt TW. I feel like writing about BOMBAY, a place worth many cities.Well I visited Bombay when I was around 12-13 years of age when “its my life” was a cool life quote and being an atheist was a trend. The family decided to go to Bombay, as it was my dads much loved city. Initially, I was seeing Bombay through his eyes. He gave a brief detail about the places he liked (VT is his favourite) and the coolest joints of his time. He was nostalgic about the place as this was where he first fled to and realized that life is not just lamenting about broken homes
I don’t remember the exact itinerary.but yeah we visited all the tourist joints like chowpatty lane, marine drive, taraporrewala aquarium, Juhu beach, Nehru Science Auditorium, Gateway of India and the bewildering serene Elephanta caves. I even caught up with the film shooting where I was lucky enough to catch a glimse of my then fav Salman Khan. (This bit made me famous amongst my girl friends)
I enjoyed all the spots as it was all-new to me. I was from Mysore, a small town and I had never been out of karnataka. I was enraptured, as everything was a novelty.
VT station, the lovers kissing on the rocks of marine drive, the most shocking encounter of a large group of tranvestites, the real genuine chats, huge multitude of well mannered people, regular buses, huge wide roads etc., these, I saw it through my eyes.

But then a particular city has its intendment. And Bombay is quite emphatic in this matter.
We were staying in a guesthouse in Mathunga. And on the second night, we couldn’t sleep due to sheer excitement. Then my dad suggested us to go for a walk and treat ourselves with ice creams. Take a walk at 11.30 PM!!!. That’s famous. He affirmed that theres nothing to worry and we set forth with fewer apprehensions. He was very confident that his daughters would be safe in such a place and no one bothered to delude my father in this regard. And we never missed that late night walk to have an ice cream till we stayed there.My sister divulged me into all her thoughts and I saw too many things.I felt as though iam attaining nirvana.Bombay walk was my bodhi tree.(i was a young teenager.forgive me!)Those Bombay walks did bring out a considerable change in me. And principally for this reason, Bombay will remain my favourite city. I havent visited many cities. But I’m sure of one thing about Bombay that it is magnanimous when it comes to the life it offers like no other city.
I visited Bombay again for a couple of days when I was in my late teens. The life was still there but I perceived the city with all my growing heart and mind and consequentially my heart was burdened by people from certain walks of life, certain incidents and certain moments in Bombay.I can never forget till date and I don’t think I will ever do.Those things have made me.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Yesterday! All My Troubles Seem so......

Got up late and had to rush. Just missed a ghastly accident within a fraction of a minute.

Got cheated pettily.
Realization-As Oprah puts it “theres no such thing as Luck. You just need to be ready when oppurtunity comes knocking”. (Did I say quotes are damn quotes somewheremmm well)

Just because Iam younger and comparatively thinner in my family, I have never been considered as an adult who require a proper seat. I have always been made to adjust and yesterday was no different. I found myself squeezed between the legs in the cab. And later sat in an unbecoming position on my sister.Thanks to an unwanted guest who joined us to see off my sister and co.

The long awaited “my space” and silence held no charm. I missed the NOICE. I miss my pichkuliya (niece) and my ashraf miya (nephew) and my bossy darling sister.
It would be unbearable for few more days.

Bless me!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Tagged for the first time!

My friend Vasuki has tagged me to write 8 random facts about myself. Good they have specified the number orelse I would have written volumes.
Here I go.,

1) I used to love dancing (especially my version of tap dance) on a small wooden teapoy at home.Now it’s a little harder so I do it on the floor.
2) If I like a movie, then I have to watch it atleast three times.
3) Iam like Nick Carraway of ‘The Great Gatsby’.I hate anything stuck or smeared on any face.I will never be calm till it is cleared.I get agitated at ink spread on the hands, face.I hate long nails on guys.
4) I love curds. I asked my mum once for a litre of curd as my bday gift. Nowadays Iam smarter and ask for something worthy eventhough I still drool over curds. I go loony tooney over ripe mango instant pickle with dollops of thick chilled curds.mmmmmmm ooooooooo ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.Slurp!
5) I used to wear the same clothes for my exams. (But as luck would have it, the one sitting next to me wrote pages and pages and I sat figuring out all the shammi kapoor songs I knew).
6) Tea is theaurepeutic especially the late afternoon tea. Love making it and drinking too. Tea is a part of all my romantic fantasies.
7) I don’t like the letter ‘Y’ and even numbers. Its not because ‘Y’ sounds snoopy and don’t like pple getting even with me.
8) Even the ‘To-let’ sign tempts me to take a leak.