Serendipity

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

“Make Shopping Easy” Startegies – The Wiles of a skilled Shopper!

I had a discussion with one of my male friends about husbands accompanying wives for shopping.
He was actually insisting that men didnot like shopping but they accompany their craving wives as it was their duty or they just couldnot help being nice!!!!.
Well, here I couldn’t disagree more with the later point.
Like all different men who tend to be alike, don’t want to accompany their wives for shopping unless for valid reasons. And Women don’t want their husbands to accompany them for shopping. They really don’t want them physically but yes their vallet is all that matters.
Here are some of the points why men eventually led to shop involuntarily or voluntarily by smart ways of women

It might be an eyeopener for the guys!

A. If she has too many bags to carry
When she shops, she never realizes the number of things bought in various shops in the mall and her excitement would have fuddled her senses to an extent that a Simple idea of dumping all the fragile delicate things (anything she shops is fragile and delicate!) shopped which is snugging gracefully in different covers into one big cover and carry the same. Anyway, nobody else is carrying to put the blame of sleazing up the shopped stuffs. As the shopping hormones works wonder to her skin and not the brains, husbands wouldnt mind carrying the bags besides the thought of great se3 back home. Once the fuddled senses are back to normal and the shopping hormones have taken the back seat, she doesn’t mind going an extra mile to boost his male libido..Ego


B. When she has doubts of getting transportation back home.
”Excitement of going for shopping, fuddling the senses” is our macguffin to the B scenario as well.
Fuddled senses will never let you be smart.
- If she were smart enough to master the shopping hormones before it fuddled her senses, then she just needs to coax a little harder. This she can achieve by spending a little energy to pretend to harmonize the male concupiscense. He will give the car to you. (Well I am just as amazed by the ability of the pituitary glands to produce amongst many hormones, the growth hormones as well as shopping hormones, as with she being smarter to have mastery over the shopping hormones.)
- She doesnt’t have to be uncharitable to spend a little more extra of the money on a cab
- Very simple! She could use her hubby. Call him and ask him whether he wants whipped cream or chocolate and then with the usual pouted lips voice (don’t waste your time wondering why he never gets bored of that…as long as it works) beg him to pick you up or subtly put across a sentence or two about dropping the idea of whipped cream or the chocolate as it might be a bad idea if it looses its puissance as the cab facility in the vicinity sucks!!!


C. When she is apprehensive about loosing the tiny toddlers.
If she happens to have the stubborn toddler insisting to come for shopping, then she has to let go of the idea of whacking the child and be good and take the husband. She can do anything, beg, moan scream harder and take the husband because she doesn’t want her senses to be fuddled by shooting orgasmic shopping hormones and loose a kid.
For the diet stricken brains… don’t try to convince your toddlers by the tools u convince your hubbies. Chocolate might be tempting but they will insist upon coming and selecting their own. They are still interested in choosing, as they are not men yet.

D. When he refuses to give credit cards to her.
-When the husband is least interested to try the last option - the viagara, then she should get down to her childhood stratagem to insist his company by emotional blackmailing.
-Theres is a feeble chance to accomplish his company by dressing up provactively for shopping intending to make him suspicious.
-If that doesn’t work …well, go Steal baby…that’s the third option of each and every successful accomplishment that has ever occurred in the world.

E. When the husband insists he accompanies her for his own indulgence, watchful, penny pinching,.. reasons
She has to take the husband if he insists, why he insists? He insists for various reasons
- He has a strong feeling that you might end up going for the lingerie show room, which is putting up a 50% clearance sale. He can get to see lots of women of/with different sizes and a chance for trouser tightening experience by jumbling the lingeries and the women on the floor… of the showroom in his head.
- He is suspicious about the excitement. Poor chap has still not realised that the shopping hormones work wonder on her face and body.
- He just wants to be “NICE”
-He is a cross dresser when u go out of town.
-He has just watched Oprah’s debt diet programme. Unfortunate terrible occurence, She has to work hard on “make shopping easy” strategies - moaning screaming, whipped cream, chocolate, pouted lips tone, head aches, emotional blackmailing, etc etc.,

Note: Hey girls don’t worry…they will be naïve even after reading this….
No offence intended at irrational feminists.

2 Comments:

At 11:51 PM , Blogger Bit Hawk said...

Hilarious. The most elaborate thesis on shopping I have read till date! :)

 
At 6:47 PM , Blogger krupa said...

I know what you are talking about!The tricks 50%off clearance sales do on female brains!
The minute I would enter Shopper's stop,my subconscious would send a message "empty bank account"!sad,then I was single ;)
My husband wooed me by taking me out for lot of shopping!:)

 

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